regencylady | A marvelous Shabbos (Reply)

I was so good on Shabbos. I had prepared well ahead of time, and extra thoroughly. Because I had forgotten about the time change I was ready an hour early and so was able to rest and even post here! I truly put away my electronics and except for my CPAP machine, which I need for safety, and my heating pad for my back pain - I was properly Shomer Shabbos! I even davened (prayed) the morning service in the sunshine. It felt good to be so connected to G-d. I enjoyed the book Mystics, Mavericks, and Merrymakers about the girls of the Lubavitch Chassidus world. I often wonder how I would have turned out if I had been able to attend a Jewish High School instead of the boarding school I went to. There was one in Denver that had dorms. That school was about an hour from where I went to school. But G-d’s timing is impeccable as I may not have been ready for observance yet.

The name Basya Chani feels so good now, but I would not have been ready for the change earlier. I guess I had to come to recognize that my non-Jewish father and his family are never going to be a part of my life and that holding on to the name they gave me, which I have not connected with in a long time, is no longer right for me. I have t posted on FB since I changed your name on it. Surprisingly, FB did not make an auto-post about it so no one has noticed. I am not making a formal announcement.

Regarding Pesach prep: the downstairs is mostly done. The amount of dog hair I got off the stairs is staggering and quite frankly, embarrassing. Hubby did some of the kitchen for me last night. I have laundry going now as that is necessary to clean them for Pesach. I have to declutter, vacuum, and mop our bedroom this morning if he wakes up in time before my 9am OA meeting. That’s my home meeting and I need to make it a priority to be there.

I don’t think I mentioned that I ran into my non-Jewish SIL at the grocery store on Friday. We had a lovely talk and made tentative plans to get together on her day off for coffee. She asked what I was up to and I told her about preparing for Pesach. I explained that while the process can be intimidating, it feels good to do it and it’s part of the rhythm of life in our home. She was polite and accepting. I credit the skills and forgiveness I’ve learned in OA for that. At one point our relationship was so strained that she deliberately had a birthday party for one of my nephews and made sure NOTHING in the house was kosher so that we could not eat. She bragged about the effort that took to one of my other sister-in-laws so I kown it really was intentional. So you can easily see why this conversation was such a big deal.