12 Step

My daily spiritual practice: I like to do a lot of G-d writing, example I talk to G-d and ask questions and then I put my pencil or pen in my left hand (I'm right handed) and I just write whatever it seems like G-d wants to tell me. I never get readable words but the words that seem to come into my mind to write are amazingly loving and helpful. I call this G-d writing and I learned it from someone in program.

Another thing I like to do to help get me in the mood to slow down and pray, is lite incense for a few minutes. I only use incense when I am praying or meditating so it immediately is associated with slowing down.

Part of my spiritual practice is using crystals while meditating and Tarot cards for insight. I only read them for myself and only for insight, not for fortune telling.

When I feel blocked from G-d, even when I'm trying to meditate or pray, it usually means that I'm angry with G-d about something and I don't realize it. It usually requires a hard-core praying session in which I actually complain to God. I say everything that's on my mind and in my heart and that usually involves tears - but that's the best kind of prayer in my opinion. That's the kind of prayer that really opens me up. Once I've done this I discover that I'm not angry with God anymore and I feel understood and one with G-d again.

I think the most important part of my spiritual practice is dialoguing with G-d as much as I can think to do it during the day. I say thank you for every little thing I can possibly say thank you for. I ask my questions whenever I can remember to. I have found asking God how I should BE in a situation, like the Big Book says, gives me more direction than asking what I should do.

Of course there are the morning and evening daily 11th step practices that I know I'm supposed to be doing. However, I do those less often than the above. I'm trying to remember to do them every day.

Drama Llama

Sam (our oldest) didn't have an official graduation, which is why you were not notified about it. His credits from NJ met the criteria to graduate in MD. So he didn't officially graduate. He was part of a ceremony for his old schools graduation because all the kids at his school in his grade did it - whether they had the credits to really graduate or not.

So that's a long-winded way of saying a big deal wasn't made for Sam's graduation, so we can't make a big deal of Asher's (our youngest). Does that make sense?

We don't believe in picking favorites with kids. It's incredibly damaging to each kid separately as well as relationships between the siblings. My parents did that, and continue to, and it has ruined us as siblings.

So one of my SILs is pissed she has just gotten notified of Asher's graduation but was never notified of Sam's. So I explained the above via text. I hope it settles her down.

Gratitudes

Gratitudes:
1. Sobriety and abstinence (yay 🎉)
2.There are some serious financial kinks in both the house closure and paying for the kids' college. And I'm not freaking out. G-d has given me peace and acceptance, for today.
3. Grateful for renting this house.
4. Grateful for my dogs.
5. Grateful for my new online journal.