May. 7th, 2017

Gratitudes

May. 7th, 2017 07:48 am
regencylady: (Default)
1. Abstinence and sobriety
2. Another day of planned active rest. I'm doing the Shortcut to Size routine on BodyBuilding.com. It's keeping me from overdoing it because it has four lifting days, once body part each day, as well as three planned active rest days. Seems like regular exercise is taking the edge off of life like prayer and meditation does.
Family portraits today, then a few hours in Baltimore Harbor, then indoor skydiving with the fam.
4. Just the right amount of soreness - enough to feel my last workout when I move, but not so much that I am in agony or simply can't move at all. I've been there many times.
5. I'm not taking it personally that one of my sponsees has dropped off the radar.

FOO Stuff

May. 7th, 2017 01:18 pm
regencylady: (Default)
Family-of-origin stuff

So my little sister's wedding was last weekend. Two of five siblings won't talk to me because I was a mouthy 13 year-old. They won't get over their grudge and are so adamant about it that I'm not permitted at family events except for both little brother's and sister's weddings. One of my SIL, who loves to throw her $$ and her place in my family in my face, was unabashedly horrible. But I didn't pick up. I didn't even WANT to. It's their problem. Our difficulties were 25 years ago. I'm not the sick one here.

I cried the hottest tears the night after the wedding because of my FOO, but I feel like G-d was holding me and crying, too. I finally see how sick and dusfunctional they all are. I can give up trying to be accepted.

My dad called for his usual Friday call, but left a cold message. I'm not calling him back.

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